A Complete Guide for the Bride, Groom, Families, Friends and the Guests
The Sikh wedding ceremony, known as Anand Karaj (“Blissful Union”), is a deeply spiritual and sacred event that takes place in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, the eternal Guru of the Sikhs. The Anand Karaj emphasizes the spiritual journey of two souls united in love, equality, and devotion to Waheguru (God).
1. Wedding Location
Most Sikh weddings traditionally take place at the Gurdwara; however, it is not a strict requirement. In cases where a Gurdwara setting is not feasible, the Anand Karaj may be conducted in a wedding hall or at home, provided it is performed with full respect and in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. The sanctity of the ceremony remains paramount, ensuring that the couple enters into their spiritual union with devotion and reverence.
2. Milni & Breakfast
Milni, meaning “introductions” in Punjabi, is a significant part of the Sikh wedding ceremony, symbolizing the union of two families. This ritual takes place outside the main Gurdwara hall, where both families gather, and the Granthi Singh (priest) initiates the ceremony with Ardaas (a prayer). The male members of each family—starting with the fathers, followed by grandfathers, uncles, and brothers—are introduced to their counterparts. They greet each other warmly, exchange garlands, and embrace as a gesture of respect and acceptance. This heartfelt tradition fosters a sense of unity and strengthens the bond between the two families. Following the Milni, guests are invited to a light vegetarian breakfast, usually served in the Langar Hall. The meal typically includes tea, samosas, pakoras, and sweets, providing an opportunity for the families and guests to mingle in a warm and welcoming atmosphere before the wedding ceremony begins.
3. The Wedding Ceremony
After breakfast, everyone proceeds to the main Darbar Hall. Hymns are sung as men and boys sit to one side of a central aisle, and the woman and girls to the other. Everyone sits on the floor reverently with legs crossed and folded, so it is important to dress modestly in a respectful and comfortable attire covering your head, knees and shoulders. No shoes are allowed inside the main Darbar Hall. The elderly and the disabled may sit on the benches by the walls.
The bride and groom bow before the Guru Granth, and then sit side by side at the front of the hall. The Granthi Singh requests the couple and their parents stand up to signify that they have given their consent for the wedding to take place. Everyone else remains seated while a he offers Ardas, a prayer to start the ceremony.
4. The Four Laavan: The Spiritual Journey of Marriage
Anand Karaj is not just a legal or social contract but a spiritual commitment between two individuals. The ceremony reflects the Sikh values of oneness, humility, and devotion. It signifies that marriage is a path toward spiritual enlightenment where both partners walk together, helping each other grow in faith and righteousness.
At the heart of the ceremony are the Four Laavan, four hymns composed by Guru Ram Das Ji (1534 – 1581), which he wrote for the occasion of his own wedding to Bibi Bhani.
The Anand Marriage Act was later signed into law in 1909 by the British Imperial and later amended in 2012 by the Indian Government.
The musicians, who are called ragis, sit on a low stage and sing the hymn, “Keeta Loree-ai Kaam” (ਕੀਤਾ ਲੋੜੀਐ ਕੰਮੁ ਸੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿ ਆਖੀਐ॥), to seek God’s blessing and to convey a message that a successful marital union is achieved through grace.
The bride and groom, affirm the acceptance of their marital obligations and bow together before the Guru Granth. The bride sits to the left of the groom directly in front of the Guru Granth.
The groom’s sister (or other female relation) drapes a long scarf, shawl, or length of turban cloth, called a palla, around the groom’s shoulders and places the right end in his hands.
The bride’s father (or one acting in his stead) takes the left end of the palla and arranges it over the bride’s shoulder and gives her the left end to hold.
The ragis sing the hymn:
“Pallai Taiddai Lagee” (ਹਭੇ ਸਾਕ ਕੂੜਾਵੇ ਡਿਠੇ ਤਉ ਪਲੈ ਤੈਡੈ ਲਾਗੀ॥1॥ ਗੁ. ਗ੍ਰੰ. 963)symbolizing joining the couple by the palla to each other and God.
The bride and groom walk around the Guru Granth, as the ragis sing the words of the Lavan. The groom walks to the left clockwise keeping Guru Granth on the right side. Holding his end of the palaa, he walks around the Guru Granth. The bride follows him holding on to her end of the palaa. The couple makes their first marital adjustment by keeping in step with each other. They bow together before the Guru Granth concluding the 1st wedding round and resume sitting. The 2nd, 3rd & final, 4th round, are conducted in the same manner.
Each of the four Laavan (starting at page 773) represents a step in the couple’s spiritual and marital journey:
First Laav (Commitment to Righteousness): The couple begins their journey by submitting to the divine will of Waheguru. They commit to a life of truth, righteousness, and love, detaching themselves from material desires.
ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿਲੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਪਰਵਿਰਤੀ ਕਰਮ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
हरि पहिलड़ी लाव परविरती करम द्रिड़ाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Har pahilaṛee laav parvirṫee karam driṛ▫aa▫i▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
In the first round of the marriage ceremony, the Lord sets out His Instructions for performing the daily duties of married life.
ਬਾਣੀ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਾ ਵੇਦੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਪਾਪ ਤਜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
बाणी ब्रहमा वेदु धरमु द्रिड़हु पाप तजाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Baṇee barahmaa véḋ ḋʰaram ḋariṛĥu paap ṫajaa▫i▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
Instead of the hymns of the Vedas to Brahma, embrace the righteous conduct of Dharma, and renounce sinful actions.
ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਵਹੁ ਸਿਮ੍ਰਿਤਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ॥
धरमु द्रिड़हु हरि नामु धिआवहु सिम्रिति नामु द्रिड़ाइआ ॥
Ḋʰaram ḋariṛĥu har naam ḋʰi▫aavahu simriṫ naam driṛ▫aa▫i▫aa.
Meditate on the Lord’s Name; embrace and enshrine the contemplative remembrance of the Naam.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਆਰਾਧਹੁ ਸਭਿ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਪਾਪ ਗਵਾਇਆ ॥
सतिगुरु गुरु पूरा आराधहु सभि किलविख पाप गवाइआ ॥
Saṫgur gur pooraa aaraaḋʰahu sabʰ kilvikʰ paap gavaa▫i▫aa.
Worship and adore the Guru, the Perfect True Guru, and all your sins shall be dispelled.
ਸਹਜ ਅਨੰਦੁ ਹੋਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਮਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ॥
सहज अनंदु होआ वडभागी मनि हरि हरि मीठा लाइआ ॥
Sahj anand ho▫aa vadbʰaagee man har har meetʰaa laa▫i▫aa.
By great good fortune, celestial bliss is attained, and the Lord, Har, Har, seems sweet to the mind.
ਜਨੁ ਕਹੈ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਲਾਵ ਪਹਿਲੀ ਆਰੰਭੁ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ॥੧॥
जनु कहै नानकु लाव पहिली आर्मभु काजु रचाइआ ॥१॥
Jan kahæ Naanak laav pahilee aarambʰ kaaj rachaa▫i▫aa. ||1||
Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the first round of the marriage ceremony, the marriage ceremony has begun. ||1||
Second Laav (Deepening Love for the Divine): The couple develops a stronger bond through devotional love and prayer. They are reminded to strengthen their faith, always remembering Waheguru in their lives.
ਹਰਿ ਦੂਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਮਿਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
हरि दूजड़ी लाव सतिगुरु पुरखु मिलाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Har ḋoojṛee laav saṫgur purakʰ milaa▫i▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
In the second round of the marriage ceremony, the Lord leads you to meet the True Guru, the Primal Being.
ਨਿਰਭਉ ਭੈ ਮਨੁ ਹੋਇ ਹਉਮੈ ਮੈਲੁ ਗਵਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
निरभउ भै मनु होइ हउमै मैलु गवाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Nirbʰa▫o bʰæ man ho▫é ha▫umæ mæl gavaa▫i▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
With the Fear of God, the Fearless Lord in the mind, the filth of egotism is eradicated.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਭਉ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਵੇਖੈ ਰਾਮੁ ਹਦੂਰੇ ॥
निरमलु भउ पाइआ हरि गुण गाइआ हरि वेखै रामु हदूरे ॥
Nirmal bʰa▫o paa▫i▫aa har guṇ gaa▫i▫aa har vékʰæ raam haḋooré.
In the Fear of God, the Immaculate Lord, sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord, and behold the Lord’s Presence before you.
ਹਰਿ ਆਤਮ ਰਾਮੁ ਪਸਾਰਿਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਸਰਬ ਰਹਿਆ ਭਰਪੂਰੇ ॥
हरि आतम रामु पसारिआ सुआमी सरब रहिआ भरपूरे ॥
Har aaṫam raam pasaari▫aa su▫aamee sarab rahi▫aa bʰarpooré.
The Lord, the Supreme Soul, is the Lord and Master of the Universe; He is pervading and permeating everywhere, fully filling all spaces.
ਅੰਤਰਿ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਏਕੋ ਮਿਲਿ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮੰਗਲ ਗਾਏ ॥
अंतरि बाहरि हरि प्रभु एको मिलि हरि जन मंगल गाए ॥
Anṫar baahar har parabʰ éko mil har jan mangal gaa▫é.
Deep within, and outside as well, there is only the One Lord God. Meeting together, the humble servants of the Lord sing the songs of joy.
ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੂਜੀ ਲਾਵ ਚਲਾਈ ਅਨਹਦ ਸਬਦ ਵਜਾਏ ॥੨॥
जन नानक दूजी लाव चलाई अनहद सबद वजाए ॥२॥
Jan Naanak ḋoojee laav chalaa▫ee anhaḋ sabaḋ vajaa▫é. ||2||
Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the second round of the marriage ceremony, the unstruck sound current of the Shabad resounds. ||2||
Third Laav (Detachment from Worldly Desires): The journey progresses toward spiritual awareness, encouraging detachment from ego and materialism. The couple realizes the importance of selflessness and service in their relationship.
ਹਰਿ ਤੀਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਚਾਉ ਭਇਆ ਬੈਰਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
हरि तीजड़ी लाव मनि चाउ भइआ बैरागीआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Har ṫeejṛee laav man chaa▫o bʰa▫i▫aa bæraagee▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
In the third round of the marriage ceremony, the mind is filled with Divine Love.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਹਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
संत जना हरि मेलु हरि पाइआ वडभागीआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Sanṫ janaa har mél har paa▫i▫aa vadbʰaagee▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
Meeting with the humble Saints of the Lord, I have found the Lord, by great good fortune.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਮੁਖਿ ਬੋਲੀ ਹਰਿ ਬਾਣੀ ॥
निरमलु हरि पाइआ हरि गुण गाइआ मुखि बोली हरि बाणी ॥
Nirmal har paa▫i▫aa har guṇ gaa▫i▫aa mukʰ bolee har baṇee.
I have found the Immaculate Lord, and I sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord. I speak the Word of the Lord’s Bani.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਕਥੀਐ ਅਕਥ ਕਹਾਣੀ ॥
संत जना वडभागी पाइआ हरि कथीऐ अकथ कहाणी ॥
Sanṫ janaa vadbʰaagee paa▫i▫aa har kaṫʰee▫æ akaṫʰ kahaaṇee.
By great good fortune, I have found the humble Saints, and I speak the Unspoken Speech of the Lord.
ਹਿਰਦੈ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਧੁਨਿ ਉਪਜੀ ਹਰਿ ਜਪੀਐ ਮਸਤਕਿ ਭਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥
हिरदै हरि हरि हरि धुनि उपजी हरि जपीऐ मसतकि भागु जीउ ॥
Hirḋæ har har har ḋʰun upjee har japee▫æ masṫak bʰaag jee▫o.
The Name of the Lord, Har, Har, Har, vibrates and resounds within my heart; meditating on the Lord, I have realized the destiny inscribed upon my forehead.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਤੀਜੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਉਪਜੈ ਮਨਿ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
जनु नानकु बोले तीजी लावै हरि उपजै मनि बैरागु जीउ ॥३॥
Jan Naanak bolé ṫeejee laavæ har upjæ man bæraag jee▫o. ||3||
Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the third round of the marriage ceremony, the mind is filled with Divine Love for the Lord. ||3||
Fourth Laav (Union with Waheguru): The final step signifies the complete union of two souls in the presence of Waheguru. They now walk together in harmony, deeply connected in love, service, and devotion.
ਹਰਿ ਚਉਥੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਸਹਜੁ ਭਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
हरि चउथड़ी लाव मनि सहजु भइआ हरि पाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Har cha▫uṫʰaṛee laav man sahj bʰa▫i▫aa har paa▫i▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
In the fourth round of the marriage ceremony, my mind has become peaceful; I have found the Lord.
ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਹਰਿ ਮਨਿ ਤਨਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
गुरमुखि मिलिआ सुभाइ हरि मनि तनि मीठा लाइआ बलि राम जीउ ॥
Gurmukʰ mili▫aa subʰaa▫é har man ṫan meetʰaa laa▫i▫aa bal raam jee▫o.
As Gurmukh, I have met Him, with intuitive ease; the Lord seems so sweet to my mind and body.
ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਇਆ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਈ ॥
हरि मीठा लाइआ मेरे प्रभ भाइआ अनदिनु हरि लिव लाई ॥
Har meetʰaa laa▫i▫aa méré parabʰ bʰaa▫i▫aa an▫ḋin har liv laa▫ee.
The Lord seems so sweet; I am pleasing to my God. Night and day, I lovingly focus my consciousness on the Lord.
ਮਨ ਚਿੰਦਿਆ ਫਲੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਜੀ ਵਾਧਾਈ ॥
मन चिंदिआ फलु पाइआ सुआमी हरि नामि वजी वाधाई ॥
Man chinḋi▫aa fal paa▫i▫aa su▫aamee har naam vajee vaaḋʰaa▫ee.
I have obtained my Lord and Master, the fruit of my mind’s desires. The Lord’s Name resounds and resonates.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭਿ ਠਾਕੁਰਿ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਧਨ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਿਗਾਸੀ ॥
हरि प्रभि ठाकुरि काजु रचाइआ धन हिरदै नामि विगासी ॥
Har parabʰ tʰaakur kaaj rachaa▫i▫aa ḋʰan hirḋæ naam vigaasee.
The Lord God, my Lord and Master, blends with His bride, and her heart blossoms forth in the Naam.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਚਉਥੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਵਿਨਾਸੀ ॥੪॥੨॥
जनु नानकु बोले चउथी लावै हरि पाइआ प्रभु अविनासी ॥४॥२॥
Jan Naanak bolé cha▫uṫʰee laavæ har paa▫i▫aa parabʰ avinaasee. ||4||2||
Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the fourth round of the marriage ceremony, we have found the Eternal Lord God. ||4||2||
The entire congregation sings “Anand Sahib“, the “Song of Bliss”. The hymn emphasizes the fusing of two souls into one as they merge with the divine.
The ragis sing two hymns to complete the ceremony:
- “Veeahu Hoa Mere Babula” – celebrates the marriage of the couple and their union with God.
- “Pooree Asa Jee Mansaa Mere Raam” – describes the happiness at having found the perfect partner.
Everyone stands for the final prayer. After it has been said, everyone bows, and resumes sitting.
The priest reads a random verse called a hukam which concludes the ceremony. Lastly, a ragi serves everyone a handful of prashad, a sacred sweet blessed during the prayer.
5. Lunch
The married couple along with everyone else proceeds to the Langar Hall for lunch and thank everyone for their blessings and participation in the ceremony. The wedding party guests congratulate the married couple, give gifts aka shagun and take pictures with the newly weds. After lunch, parents distribute boxed confections with traditional sweets to all the guests.
Anand Karaj is a sacred and joyous occasion that brings two souls together in love, devotion, and service. It is more than just a wedding; it is a spiritual journey where the couple commits to walking the path of Sikh teachings and supporting each other in their faith. Whether you are Sikh or attending as a guest, understanding the significance of this beautiful ceremony will allow you to appreciate its deep spiritual and cultural value.